Rumors abound that older women make beautiful lovers. But what is the truth? Do older women make better lovers? Does the experience and sophistication that come with age translate over to the bedroom?
For some men, the very thought of going to bed with a milf or cougar is the most exciting part of the sexual experience. They’re attracted to older women and so their heart rate is already accelerating and blood is rushing down south.
However, without the intrigue and “challenge” of banging Mrs. Robinson, or Samantha, or Stifler‘s mom, (or whichever cinematic icon fits your favorite decade) what about the sexual routine itself?
Is it a myth that older women are better lovers in general than younger women or is that just a little bit of Cougar Patriotism?
While it’s never safe to assume that any statistic is universally true (of course there are older women out there who are not good lovers), for the most part, older women tend to be better in bed because of one simple factor: experience.
But what does experience actually mean and how does it manifest itself when it comes to bumping and grinding?
Teenagers are often virginal and even women in their twenties may not have as much experience in sex as they would have people believe. A virgin girl is shy by nature, may have a poor body image, and may expect a man to do most of the work.
If the man doesn’t know what he’s doing either, it’s a recipe for a very awkward sexual experience. Bear in mind that just because young men and women have access to porn and erotic pictorials doesn’t mean they actually have real physical experience; “intimacy” experience.
One younger man named Todd* says that dating older women actually relieves some of the pressure or “performance anxiety” that men suffer from when dating younger women.
“Older women have always seemed more aggressive to me, more sexually free…and they know what they want. They touch themselves, they tell you what to do, how to please them. That inner confidence makes the experience more enjoyable.”
Older women don’t have the same worries as younger women, and that’s not just in life, or career…but even the less important bedroom problems. Whereas younger women may be stressing about where their life is going, body issues and what having sex means for the relationship, most older women are over these issues.
Stress is a libido killer all its own, but an even bigger problem for younger women today is birth control and the risk of pregnancy. If you’re in a true May-December relationship, the older woman you’re dating doesn’t have that anxiety or the hormone disruption that comes from birth control.
While it’s true that some women experience a drop in libido after menopause, it’s also important to remember that many women actually experience an increase in sexual desire – and now they have the freedom to have “risky” sex with a trusted partner without the fear of getting pregnant. They get to explore more and throw caution to the wind. The fact that their children are probably grown and out of the house only helps.
One younger man named Alex says that older women, at least in his experience, seem to use sex to de-stress, whereas younger women always seem to make sex stressful.
“When I had a girlfriend my own age, sex was always about power plays, mind games or negotiating something. What I find with my current girlfriend, who is ten years older than me, is that she just wants sex…almost like a man. There’s no over-thinking it, just random hot f**ing and that’s what guys my age want.”
While it’s true that younger women might have just as much experience as older women in terms of quantity (especially if they’re in college!), older women may actually have more serious relationship history. That means a better overall sexual education, since committed and intimate communication is the best way to enhance one’s sex life = you know, as opposed to bumping into someone at a party and having drunken sex on the floor.
Older women spend more time getting to know what works – what they personally respond to for orgasm, and what men really enjoy when receiving pleasure.
Ricky, another surveyed young “alpha male” says he had one of the best sexual relationships of his entire life when he hooked up with a nurse who was his senior.
“She taught me things I had no idea about and I know I could never learn that from a younger woman…girls my own age are giving you a privilege, so you have to appreciate whatever you get. Older women are much more eager to please. They want to hear you scream!”
Alex adds that sexual experience is not limited to positions or orgasmic response…sometimes cougars are just much freakier in bed – and that’s what guys want.
“One of the women I dated was a Domme, a dominant women in bed, and she was more than happy to show me the pleasures of spanking and role playing. It wasn’t experimenting…more like a powerful force that she just unleashed on me. And it was some of the best sex I ever had because she knew exactly what she was doing.”
Todd states that sometimes older women’s experience counts, not because of special knowledge, but because they have already learned through trial and error.
“Some women I had sex with in their twenties couldn’t orgasm. No matter what I tried, they always ended up faking it. It wasn’t anyone’s fault…they just didn’t have them back then. Women in their forties though, they’ve had more time to find out what takes them over the edge. I’ve never really dated an older woman who couldn’t orgasm. They just know their bodies very well by that age.”
Believe it or not, a lot of younger men say that older women – despite myths to the contrary – are dirtier, more wild and more experimental than younger women. Whereas we may think older women are easily scandalized – you know like mom would be so embarrassed to hear those words! – the Puritan cliché is really out of date.
These are babyboomers, or early Generation X, and they were young and wild not too long ago.
Alex says, chances are, they’ve already done worse than you’ve thought about.
“With younger women I get the feeling they want to be wild to seem cool…because everyone else has done it. But when I date older woman they tell me stories of what they did years ago, and they really surprise me. They’ve had more one night stands…they’ve done crazy things, they’ve taken risks that would make me blush. Nothing you could come up with really shocks them. And believe me, they love to relive memories like that after talking about it.”
“Cougars talk dirty way better in my experience. They know what guys like…my ex knew just the right words to use to make crazy.”
Older women love themselves, they love sex and they love the younger men who adore them. Statistical evidence as well as anecdotal evidence suggests that older women do make better lovers and it’s no coincidence that experience is the key factor.
“Mature women love their body, they love life and they love pleasure,” Ricky says. “A young man owes it to himself to meet a special cougar in his life before he decides on the ‘Right One’. A cougar really will rock your world and you’ll have no complaints.”