How to Pick Up Older Women: 6 Ways to Succeed with Cougars

Cougar Dating Tips

Nov 16

So you finally found out where the most beautiful cougars congregate and now you want to know how to pick up older women successfully. Now the only problem is that you’re bumbling through your opening lines, trying too hard to be funny and cocky, and just coming across like a poor sweet boy that needs a girlfriend.

No, get rid of all that.

Instead, you have to work on your PRESENCE, more so than your strategy. Let’s discuss 6 ways things you can do to tease and flirt with older woman that are effective each and every time.

Creating dominant body language

When it comes to how to pick up older women, what you do is more important than what you say. As in, you want to say more with your gestures and posture than your words, at least initially.

Cougars and older women prefer confident young men, and that requires having strong and fearless eye contact, straight posture (no slouching!), slow and deliberate movements, SMILE (please don’t forget that part!), staying calm and relaxed, and speaking with an air of authority – as if you own the place. You take up as much space as you want.

Build rapport slowly and safely

Be careful not to deep dive into anything too heavy or controversial at first. You must build rapport slowly, and then turn that good conversation into a strong emotional connection.

Start with a topic that’s safe – something about the environment you’re in, something that she can quickly understand. The sooner you go “niche” the sooner you might lose her.

As the conversation progresses, you can venture into social issues she cares about, hobbies, shared interests and other “deep” topics that are exciting to discuss.

Believe in your fantasy

It’s not enough to believe “in yourself” – you also want to believe in your fantasy. As hot as you are for meeting a sexy cougar, you have to believe she wants you just as bad. This will help in projecting the right feelings.

It may also help to do a little scouting or research to determine whether she is sexually dominant, like a teacher that doesn’t mind flirting and taking more of an instructive role, or maybe more of a shy mom-type who wants to be romanced and seduced by a dominant lover.

Once you figure out what approach they like, you can better flirt and create enticing conversation, whether you’re leading or following.

Learn to listen

One things every master cougar seducer knows is that the best way to pick up older women is to get her talking about herself….and then mirror her emotions, facial and body language.

She may have kids or an ex-husband but there’s no need to shy away from these topics. In fact, she probably wants to discuss them just to “let you know” what you’re in for, dating her. But she must convey to you that she loves her family and that you must respect her boundaries.

Now it’s time to be a good listener. Give her the positive reception she wants and don’t be freaked out about it. Don’t insult her or tease her about something she feels strongly about.

The best way to flirt subconsciously is to match her level of energy and her body movements. If she’s feeling nostalgic about the past, send her back that same warm and cuddly smile. If she’s talking about something serious, give her the suspenseful face that she craves, so she can tell you the story of what happened. When she’s happy and laughing, give her more of the same. Matching the temperament of your date is an often-forgotten part of flirting.

Turn the sexual switch on and off, on and off

Simply put, at some point (and usually much sooner than later) you have to turn on the sexual switch and let her know that you desire her physically, sexually and lustfully. If you don’t do this as soon as appropriate, then you’re just firmly inserting yourself in the friend zone.

In fact, with older women it’s probably a better idea to be more blunt; giving her physical compliments, explaining how her features make you feel, and activating that sexual tension that so many guys are afraid of. Remember, you can always go back to normal conversation after testing her sexual response.

When in doubt, don’t stick to the generics; create a unique compliment that focuses on one aspect of her physical or intellectual persona, and the less she’s heard it before, the better!

Don’t run with one of her excuses

A lot of older women may test you with the old “You’re young enough to be my son!” or something to that effect. If you let her observation shame you, you lose. But if you stand strong and admit your attraction regardless of her excuses, she will forced to either say YES or NO.

If she finds you attractive, she may be willing to listen. If necessary, you can also counter her test logically, explaining why you prefer women like her instead of younger girls. Show good humor in the face of rejection and you may actually get a “Get Out of Friend-Zone Free Card”!

Offer to continue before it slips away

Once you start the conversation, don’t let it slip away before you’ve secured the next meet. There’s nothing too scandalous about asking an older woman out for something classy – like drinking wine, going out to dinner, cooking for her or going out somewhere in public.

Usually, inviting her over to your place after the date is a good move, since she may have family or may not want to get too entangled with you yet. You want to control your environment as much as possible and feel “in your element.”

Remember that flirting is sometimes your job rather than hers, since many women – even cougars – have been taught to hide their secret desires for younger men since society tends to shame the sexually adventurous. She wants to appear mature to family and friends…but she IS just dying to take a risk in the name of passion. Make it easy for her and be a good date from beginning to end.

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