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The story is often the same for younger men dating older women: The attraction is intense. The flirting is outrageous. You, as a young and virile man, feel a tingling sensation every time you think about her or whisper her name.
Your attraction to older women started as a fantasy and is now blossoming into an intense physical relationship that’s going to rock your world and change your entire outlook on life. Get ready set and…
It’s over!
She rejected you and you’re left standing in the dirt, with your penis unfortunately drained of all enthusiasm, wondering what in the hell happened!
This actually happens more often than you think. Young men start an attraction, progress onto flirting, and then suddenly make a huge mistake which turns the cougar off and running into another cub’s arms.
Perhaps the misconception is that once you land a cougar’s attention, she’ll be like putty in your hands. Wrong! Cougars can be just as hard to win over and girls in their twenties, and let’s not forget – because of their extra experience they’ve been flirting, dating and dumping for much longer than you have.
So rather than give you instructions on how to be a player, because frankly most cougars are too smart for that, let’s focus on what mistakes to avoid as a thinking man who’s just this close to entering paradise.
A lot of younger guys actually have the mom next door or sexy teacher fantasy, and it might be fun in role playing. But in real life, this type of attraction doesn’t do much for the woman.
Older women don’t want to have to constantly seduce their younger suitors. They want to be chased and they want to be romanced by a young MAN, not a boy.
Boys who have hot teacher fantasies but who are immature at heart, tend to be shy, too sycophantically “nice”, or perhaps even too “embarrassed” to be seen out in public with her. These are simply not characteristics of an attractive man.
Cougars are interested in dating young, confident men who know what they want and are honest about the strong attraction they feel.
Maybe a younger guy is so relieved to have a cougar interested in him that he starts puffing up his feather so to speak and acting like he’s smarter, stronger or older than he really is. But this “trying too hard” attitude is only going to work against you in the end.
You don’t have to be her ex-husband…she doesn’t WANT you to be like all the other guys her age who are making a play for her. She probably finds your innocence refreshing. Youth, enthusiasm and a willingness to learn about the things you don’t understand yet can be a worthy substitute of knowledge, wisdom and experience.
Act your age…to a woman, that’s part of the fun of dating a younger man.
It’s cool to be upfront and proud of your attraction to cougars and older women. Some young idiots, however, make it the focal point of the discussion. They talk about liking “older women”, or having mommy fetishes, and basically they draw so much attention to the age difference, it embarrasses the cougar and she heads back up to the mountains.
A woman doesn’t want to talk about her age or about growing older. She wants to feel young again – she wants to feel as if age doesn’t matter because you’re just that into her. Worry about her age when you’re filling out your taxes together. For now, just concentrate on having fun and making her feel safe and desirable in your company.
Believe it or not some cougars are actually doing very well, maybe even rich. They’re settled in their careers and may be enjoying more financial freedom due to a divorce or children leaving the house. So chances are, she is certainly not interested in YOUR money.
Don’t take offense if she offers to pay for dinner or other items which might be “out of your price range”. If she desires to pay for you, let her. Trying to be macho and contending that you have to be a man and pay your own way is not doing you any favors.
Do not be a sugar “baby” and insist she pay your way for everything – unless she’s offered to be your sugar mama. Rather, be willing to pay for only what you can afford…and if she wants to spoil you a little, show her how much you appreciate it!
This cougar is who she is because she’s open minded and free. Trying to stifle that and making her your little housewife will only frustrate her. She is not a prize to be won or a jewel to be protected. She is independent and she enjoys your company on her own time.
An older woman learned a long time ago that she doesn’t want to be a little girl – stop being her “daddy” and be her young lover who respects her.
Cougars are exceptionally good at conversation after years of experience, so of course she’s going to show interest in you and try to draw you out. She’ll ask questions and you’ll feel great about yourself – she’s someone that really understands you!
However, this works both ways. You must show an interest in her life, at least the parts that she is willing to discuss. One-sided relationships where you dominate the conversation, or where you whine too much and stress her out, are not going to last very long.
Always strive to keep the conversation fun, and do ask her questions so she can build intimacy with you. An egomaniacal man obsessed with his own life and past is not a fun date!
Be persistent but be witty! Like any woman, beautiful cougars will not always be warm and accepting for the first try. This doesn’t mean you have to give up…some women like persistence. However, you do have to walk a fine line between being persistent and being a sexually harassing jerk.
Don’t intimidate her; charm her. Be creative in altering your approaches. Patience and respect go a long way, but don’t give up trying to attract her. There’s certainly nothing shameful about trying again if the prettiest cougar in the room turns you down the first time.
We’ve all made mistakes before, so don’t take a “defeat” too hard. Just learn from your mistakes and be ready to impress the next time opportunity comes your way in a short skirt and a smile.